Think About Your End Game

 


I don't want to die. Who does really? However, we face this reality daily. I am facing it even more with my recent confirmation of an Alzheimer's diagnosis. I have been going to a neurologist for two years when I knew it was possible. I pushed it out of my mind. Recently, I had an appointment with a new Specialist in Alzheimer's. She ordered a Spinal Tap which confirmed that this diagnosis is for real. My family and I went into shock, tears, and disbelief. We are all dealing with this diagnosis in our own ways. I feel sorry for my husband and children facing my eventual decline. I feel sorry for my brother and sister who share my family genes. I also feel sorry for myself.

However, it's actually the key to happiness to find out when you are dying according to a recent article in 'The Atlantic' Magazine. Think about your End Game and live better it says. Hmmm...I don't know how I feel about that. When given the death sentence, I will have to focus on their key questions and ask them myself. 

1. What should I do with my remaining time? 

2. The article suggests spending more time with loved ones, traveling, always choosing the positive, filling my days with joy, and appreciating beauty. 

3. Do I believe in the afterlife? 

4. Make decisions that enhance my happiness.

So, I will use these four steps to form a plan of action. My husband and I are on a worldwide trip now. We used our free Air Miles and discounts to travel the world for five months with backpacks. We feel like teenagers again at age 68. We are meeting people along the way and exchange stories. We are walking around cities and small towns in Thailand now. The next stop is Australia. We will stay near the beach and the fresh ocean air. It will be cool Fall weather and a small town to walk around.

I have also planned a trip to New York in the Fall to meet my brother, sister, and two half-sisters. Maybe my cousins will come too. We have never met our two half-sisters discovered on ancestry.com by my niece. They were born to my dad in college before he met my mom. I don't even know if they ever knew we existed. We will visit my dad's hometown, school, and local cemetery with relatives. We have regular Zoom calls now with the new sisters and they are both teachers like my sister and I. We all like to travel and even look alike. Life is full of surprises!

So I will look for the good in life daily. I do appreciate the beauty of new countries on this trip. We are meeting friendly locals who smile and make us feel welcome. Yesterday we went to a Thai hostel bar that we spent time at on our last visit almost a year ago. The bartender welcomed us with a big smile and even remembered our drink order: Kahula & Vodka for my husband a glass of red wine for me. It was a fun surprise. That is why they call Thailand: 'The Land of Smiles'.

I am trying to choose happiness and not sweat the small stuff. Life is never easy, but if I focus on the positive, I am happier. In Thailand, it is easy to feel happy with their kindness and smiles. I am doing things that bring me joy here. Going out to dinner for Thai food, massages, outdoor music, and wandering the backstreet sois. We have been coming to Chiang Mai for years and have a favorite band that performs at a tiny bar in the Night Market. We have watched the singer and guitar players grow up from their teens into their 20s now. The singer left the band recently and I wonder if he found fame in the big city of Bangkok. No one knows when we ask at the bar. The guitar player remembers us and plays songs for us with a big smile. We are finding daily moments of joy here.

We appreciate the beauty of traveling. Each day is an adventure full of new places, people, and food. I am making daily decisions that make me happy. I am trying fresh


food, swimming, walking, and exploring the world. Yes, I do believe in the afterlife. I know that my time on this planet is measured and I will make the most of it. I also know that some sort of heaven is waiting for me and my ancestors to welcome me. That is the mystery of life. We never know what will happen when we die and don't live to tell anyone. I don't want to die, but who does? It is the end game that most of us choose to ignore. When I have this short-term medical diagnosis, then I will choose happiness daily and look for the beauty around me. I will miss my family but hope that they have fun memories of me. I have enjoyed my life and that is that!

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